this weekend

ok so yesterday and today was really hard for me. While I was in the underground with my cousins they had to come and fill out a prayer card and the youngest one ryan didnt know what prayer was about. This was really hard cause i couldnt help to not cry cause i had to explain that God will help you through anything you are hurt about and i could just see it in his eyes that the death of his mom was tugging at his heart. I could barely say what i wanted because it was already hard for me to believe that God was helping me through it and i was trying to be strong for him. Then after church as we were getting in the car, ryan was like i am gonna say something funny to your mom..and then he was like "get in the car mom 2" I was almost on the verge of crying because it still isnt real to me. I guess my mom reminds them a lot of their mom (which isnt surprising). While we were in the museum my dad had suggested that we should have partners and ryan ran to me. I felt really touched but i couldnt help not thinking of his mom/my aunt and how much he reminds me of her. It was hard to tell myself that every thing happens for a reason. Cause i know it does but i just dont understand why he would take these young beautiful boys mom and leave them with such a screw up dad. Then today before they left my mamaw was like its time to leave and she was like you need to get your shoes on and your coat..and he like went behind the couch and hid and you could tell he didnt want to come home..idk its just soooo hard because i dont think my aunts death will ever become reality to me..so idk




Stupid Boy-Keith Urban



well she was precious like a flower
she grew wild, wild but innocent
a perfect prayer in a desperate hour
she was everything beautiful and different
stupid boy... you can't fence that in
stupid boy... it's like holdin' back the wind



so what makes you think you could take a life
and just push it, push it around
i guess to build yourself up so high
you had to take her and break her down



she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
and you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
she never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens when the only voice
she hears is telling her she can't
stupid boy
stupid boy